


Introspective

by in_my_world



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst (?), Gen, Most of the characters are just mentioned, Thinking about stuff, bad use of verb tenses, just a lot of words that came to my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 22:06:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10603218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_my_world/pseuds/in_my_world
Summary: Sometimes when Renjun wants to be alone, he goes to the dance room in the second basement.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Everything is in Renjun's P.O.V but i think that it could be applied to a great number of idols. It's not edited yet, and its the result of me thinking too much and being in a kinda sad mood.

Sometimes when Renjun wants to be alone, he goes to the dance room in the second basement. 

Most trainees only used the training rooms that were available in the first basement, and artists who had already debuted normally practiced in higher floors. 

So dance rooms in the second basement were for the most part left alone. and Renjun liked to go there on certain occasions.

To train alone where nobody could see him. To dance until his thighs and feet hurt. To repeat a choreography that he already knew by heart, again and again. 

Because sometimes, when his mind didn't want to stop, when his thoughts ran across his mind at a speed that he just couldn't keep up with, sometimes, dancing with all his might helped ease the pain. And sometimes, the exhaustion that the dancing brought helped him  _ forget _ .

It helped him forget that he was just a 16 year old, alone in a foreign country, his closest family a couple 100 miles away.

It helped him forget that he was just at the beginning of his career and any little mistake could condemn him to an isolated corner of the entertainment industry, where his name would only be  pronounced in disapproving whispers and loud words full of reproach. 

It helped him forget about his hectic schedule, about the few hours of sleep he was allowed and the countless hours that he had to spend practicing a performance that was just a few minutes long.

It helped him forget about his empty stomach and about the diet plan someone had given him a few hours ago.

It helped him forget about some of the messages his old friends had left for him, messages that were full of details about their lives (lives where they were allowed to make mistakes, where they were allowed to be something that was far from being perfect, where they were allowed to just _ be _ .)

It helped him forget about the five year contract that was signed just a few months earlier in this same building, and how, while holding the pen, he felt as if he was signing away a part of his being. 

So he dances the point of exhaustion, he dances until he can  _ forget _ and then….then he walks home. He pack his things and takes the shortest path to the dorm, his feet and thighs aching with every step. 

When he arrives, he’s welcomed home by Chenle’s high-pitched laughter, and by Jeno’s blinding smile. Sometimes, he’s even welcomed by Donhyuck’s loud voice and Mark’s calm one telling everyone to stop making a ruckus. 

Sometimes he’s welcomed by a gentle hand guiding him to the living room, where all the other members were, and by Jisung’s quiet voice asking him if everything was alright  (Because no matter what everyone told you, the most observant member was definitely their little maknae, and Renjun didn’t know if that was a good thing or a terribly sad one). 

And then, just then, surrounded by the sounds of what was his _ home  _ even if it was thousands of miles away from his real one, just then, he let himself  _ remember _ . 

He remembers the feeling, that magical feeling that he only feels  when he is up on stage, when he’s dancing and singing and  _ living _ . 

He remembers his mother soothing words, her quiet encouragements telling him that if he didn’t accept then he would regret it for the rest of his life because opportunities like this don’t come to just anyone. 

He remembers the faces of thousands of loving fans, who cheer for him, who cry when he cries, who are there for every performance, for every fansign, for every event. He remembers their loud chants and their happy faces when they see them perform. 

He remembers countless nights in the studio and in the practice room, countless nights spent with people who he had beginning to see as his best friends, as his family. 

He remembers laughter and tears, moments of indescriptible joy spent alongside his friends, singing, dancing, sharing an objective, sharing a  _ dream _ . 

He remembers his own dream. To sing, to dance, to entertain, to perform, to be the best at what he does. 

He  _ remembers   _ and he smiles. 

“ Yes Jisungie, everything is fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so that's it. This is my first NCT fic but i promise that I'll make another one that's more happy and fluffy because i love NCT Dream way to much !!!


End file.
